My Favourite Disney Characters
HADES RULES!!
(Quote - Hades)

Hades is DEFINITLY the best Disney villain ever, and of course the most comedic! Whenever he says something (or nearly whenever) I have to laugh, because his comments are monstrous funny, but he is frightening in the same way. His underworld-god-design was done greatly, oh, there are many reasons why Hades truly rules!!! He can be very *hot*-tempered, but his strange black humour is above all! He also talks like speedy Gonzales runs, babbling like are used car salesman. (He reminds me of Timon somehow) He's a superb villain.

There isn't much story about him. He is the underworlds god. In the original greek tale he also was Zeus brother, but the Disney people cut that out because otherwise the story would remind of "Lion King" to much, wouldn't it? Hades wants to take over Mount Olympus and rule the Cosmos, and the fates tell him that he could indeed do this, well, if Hercules wouldn't be...Hades tries to get rid of him when Hercules is a baby, by turning him mortal and killing him, but fails. Years of watching Herc pass, and the time for his big plan is running out. He could shoot him down, really ("PULL!") He needs someone who can..handle him as a man. That's when Megara comes in, a beautiful, but sarcastic girl who sold her soul to Hades to save her boyfriends life. (In the German version of the film Hades once calls Megara "Meggie" Boy, I laughed..) The famous boyfriend ran away with some other babe, leaving Meg alone as Hades unwilling slave, and become very rude and zynistic. Hades makes use of Megs abilities now and then, and in the ordeal belonging Hercules he truly has the need. He orders her to flirt with Hercules and find out his weakness, not caring for the fact that a true, real romance is going on between Meg and Herc. Megara now really cares for Herc and refuses to tell Hades about his weaknesses. If he had any at all. Because he has none! Or has he? "He wouldn't do anything to hurt me!" Hades doesn't need Meg's help to get that Hercs weakness is Meg herself. And he makes use of that by a deal. Hercules gets rid of his strength for 24 hours, and his little babe will be free! Herc agrees, and without him getting in the way taking over Mt Olympus is as easy as saying "dead". But that doesn't go for long....

My favourite comments and dialogues by Hades: (They are countless) Read them or jump to my top ten :)

"How centimental.You know, I haven't been this choked up since I got a hunk of moussaka caught in my throat!! huh?!" [Silence..] "So is this an audience of a mosaic?"

"Meg, my little flower, my little bird, my little nut, Meg. What exactly happened here? I thought you were gonna persuade the river guardianto join my team for the uprising, and here I am, kind of river guardian-less."

Zeus: So Hades, you finally made it. How are things in the underworld?
Hades: Well, they're just fine, you know, a little dark, a little gloomy, and as always, hey, full of dead people. What are you gonna do? [spotting little Herc] Ah! There's the little sunspot, little smootchie. And here is a sucker for the little sucker, eh?

One of my alltime favourites: Hades and the three fates.
Hades:  Ladies! hah! I am so sorry that I'm--
Atropos: Late
Clotho:  We knew you would be
Lachesis: We know everything
Clotho: Past
Lachesis: Present
Atropos:  And future (to Panic): Indoor plumbing - it's gonna be big.
Hades: Great. Great. Anyway, see, Ladies, I was at this party, and I lost track of--
All three:  We know!
Hades: *getting angry* Yeah. I know.. you know. So, here's the deal. Zeus, Mr High and Mighty, Mr. "Hey, you, get off my cloud," now he has--
Fates:  A bouncing baby brat.
Clotho:  We know!
Hades:  *bursting into flames* I know.. you know. I know. I got it.


Hades:  Yes! Hades rules!!!
Atropos: A word of caution to this tale
Hades:  Excuse me?
Atropos: Should Hercules fight, you will fail
Hades  (burning into flame): WHAAAT???!!!  Okay, fine, fine, I'm cool, I'm fine

"Pain? Panic? Got a little riddle for ya. How do you kill a god?"

Hades: [eating worms like in a cinema] A stirring performance, boys. I was really moved.
Panic: "Jeepers, Mister" ?
Pain: I was going for innocence.
Hades: And, hey, two thumbs way, way up for our leading lady. what a dish. what a doll.

"Guys! Guys! Relax! It's only halftime.."

"Game....set....match!"

"Boom! Badda-boom-boom-boom! Hah!"

[Hades practices shooting at targets]
"PULL!!!!"
Meg: Nice shooting, rex.
Hades: I can't believe this guy. I throw everything I've got at him. And it doesn't even--  (sees Pain wearing Hercules(tm)sandals)What--are--those?
Pain:  Um.. I don't know. I thought they looked kinda dashing.
Hades:  I've got 24 hours to get rid of  this bozo, or the entire scheme I've been setting up for 18 years goes up in smoke... AND YOU ARE_WEARING_HIS_MERCHANDISE!!!!!


Meg:  Looks like your game's over. Wonderboy is hitting every curve you throw at him.
Hades:  Oh yeah.. I wonder if maybe I haven't been throwing the right curves at him. Meg, my sweet...
Meg:  Don't even go there.
Hades:  See, he's gotta have a weakness, because everybody's got a weakness I mean for what? Pandora, it was the box thing, for the Trojans, hey, they bet on the wrong horse, okay? We simply need to find out Wonderboy's.

 "Guys, get your titanic rears in gears and kick some olympian butt!!!"

 "Whoa, is my hair out?"

Hades makes the first deal with Hercules:
Hades: Geez Louise! What got his goat, huh? Baboom. Name is Hades, Lord of the Dead. Hi. How ya doin'?
Hercules: Not now, okay?
Hades:  Hey, hey, I only need a few seconds and I'm a fast talker, all right?See, I've got the major deal in the works. A real estate venture, if you will. And Herc, you little devil you, may I call you Herc? You seem to be constantly getting in the way of it.
Hercules: You've got the wrong guy.
Hades: Hear me out, ya little-- heh-heh. Just-- hear me out, okay? So I would be eternally grateful if you would just... take a day off from this hero business of yours. Geez, I mean, monsters, natural disasters. Phew. You wait a day, okay?
Hercules:  You're out of your mind.
Hades:  Not so fast, because, ya see, I do have a little leverage... You might
 wanna know about.
Hercules: Meg!
Megara: Don't listen, Herc--
Hercules: Let her go!
Hades: Here's the trade-off. You give up your strength for about 24 hours, okay? Say, the next 24 hours and Meg here is free as a bird and safe from harm. We dance, we kiss, we schmooze, we carry on, we go home happy. What d'ya say? Come on.
Hercules: People are, are gonna get hurt, aren't they?
Hades: Nah! I mean, it's, you know, it's a possibility. It happens 'cause, you know, it's war, but what can I tell ya?

Hades: Brothers! Titans! Look at you inyour squalid prison! Who put you down there?
Titans: Zeus!
Hades:And now that I set you free, what is the first thing you are going to do?
Titans: Destroy him!
Hades: Good answer


Lythos: Crush Zeus!
Hydros: Freeze him!
Pyros: Melt Zeus!
Stratos: Blow him away!
Titans: Zeus!
Hades: Uh, Guys? Olympus would be that way.

"Whoa! Hey! No! Get him, not me! Him! Follow the fingers! Him!  The yutz with the horse!

Hades: Thanks a ton, Wonderboy. But at least I've got one swell consolation prize -- a friend of yours who's DYING to see me.
Hercules: *something clicks in his mind* Meg!
 

Hades: Hmph. Well, well. It's a small underworld after all, huh?
Hercules: Meg! Ahhh!
[his hands which he put into water turned old]
Hades: No, no, no. Mustn't touch. You see, Meg's running with a new crowd these days. And not a very lively one, at that.


The final deal:
Hercules: You like making deals. Take me in Meg's place.
Hades: Oh, well. The son of my hated rival trapped forever in a river of death.
Hercules: Going once!
Hades: Hmm. Is there a downside to this?
Hercules: Going twice!
Hades: Okay, okay, okay, okay. You get her out. She goes - You stay!

"Herc, Herc, Herc. Can we talk? Y-Your dad, he's a fun guy, right? So maybe you could put in a word with him and he'd kinda blow this whole thing off, you
know? Meg, Meg, talk to him, a little schmooze--"


First I thought I couldn't make any top ten list out of Hades' quotes, just because I somehow enjoyed them all-same thing for Meg. But making Top Ten Lists is so extremly funny that I just couldn't put the idea off..I never get sick of quoting, I guess :) Here's my top ten list: (It was a hard choice, mind you!)

10: You know, a little dark, a little gloomy, and as always, hey, full of dead people. What are you gonna do?
9: Ehm, guys? Olympus would be that way.
8: Guys, guys! Relax! It's only halftime...
7: So you took care of him, huh? Dead as a door nail. Weren't those your exact words?
6: I'm about to rearrange the Cosmos and the one schlemiel who can louse it up IS WALTZING AROUND IN THE WOODS!
5: So, can't. Love to, but can't.
4: *ding* Pain? Panic? Got a little riddle for ya. How - do you kill - a god?
3: PULL!!!!!
2: Oh, and you know what just slipped my mind? You'll be dead before you can get to her. That's not a problem, is it?
1: (My favourite dialogue-in-scene!) Ah! There's the little sunspot, little smootchie. And  - here - is a sucker for the little sucker, eh?